You And Your Johnson

(stolen from MPS)

The Teabaggers Have Principles!

The Tea Party is all about small government. They don't think that the government should be running your life. Here are some of the principles they hold dear (from various Tea Party websites)

All men are created equal.

The proper role of government is to protect equal rights

  As the government is of the people, by the people and for the people, in all other matters we support the personal liberty of the individual

The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.  

etc, etc, etc. . .

Yes, they are all about individual liberty. The government can't tell you how to live your life. You are the ultimate authority on how you live your life.


Well, not you!

Tea Party rally focuses in gay marriage in Iowa

by Associated Press  ::  UPDATED: 15 January 2011 |

COUNCIL BLUFFS, Iowa (AP) — About 35 people gathered for a Tea Party rally in Council Bluffs calling for a ban on gay marriage and stricter abortion laws in Iowa.

Yeah, the power of government should totally be limited. Limited to deciding who can marry whom and whether or not women have to have babies. But other than that, they're total libertarians!

And assholes. They're also assholes.

Un-Freakin-Believable!

This creepy-as-fuck old couple literally worship Sarah Palin.




Where I come from, that would be considered a complete blasphemy. If those creeps had sung this in the church I grew up in, they would have been tossed out on their ears faster than you can say "excommunication."


They got one thing right, though. It'll be a cold day in Hell when Sarah Palin gets to Washington.

P.S. The all-time stupidest line ever written: "Sarah has the wisdom to walk through an open door." 
How is that wisdom? What if the open door is the door to a crackhouse? What if it leads to the lion enclosure? What if it's the door to a dirty movie theater? Hmm? How much wisdom is required to walk through a door?

Why do they keep doing this?

Why do they keep asking Miss America contestants questions about subjects of import? Aren't they supposed to ask things like "how would you make the world a nicer place?" or "why do you love your home state?" or "your ass and a hole in the ground: compare and contrast."

Does it not occur to them that someone whose career aspirations include strutting around half-naked to be judged like a calf at a county fair might not have the most well-reasoned, most clearly thought-out opinions on current affairs?



And why would anyone be surprised when her answer to a question about Wikileaks is this word salad:

"You know when it came to that situation, it was actually based on espionage, and when it comes to the security of our nation, we have to focus on security first and then people's right to know, because it's so important that everybody who's in our borders is safe and so we can't let things like that happen, and they must be handled properly," she said.

(Chicago Tribune)

You know, maybe she might have had less trouble with a generic question.

Scanlan said the question was easier for her than a generic one, because she has routinely discussed current events with her family since she was young.

Egads! Really?

This might be a good time to point out that Ms Scanlan, who is probably a perfectly nice person, was homeschooled through 11th grade. So, yeah, another triumph, good going homeschoolers! And she has already been accepted to Patrick Henry College, which sounded impressive to me, until I googled it.

The mission of Patrick Henry College, as adopted by the Board of Trustees September 28, 2002, is "to train Christian men and women who will lead our nation and shape our culture with timeless biblical values and fidelity to the spirit of the American founding. In order to accomplish this mission, the College provides academically excellent higher education with a biblical worldview using classical liberal arts core curriculum and apprenticeship methodology." The College's vision is "to aid in the transformation of American society by training Christian students to serve God and mankind with a passion for righteousness, justice and mercy, through careers of public service and cultural influence." [1]

Uh-oh.  Sounds like Dominionism to me. Another triumph for homeschooling!

The Kid Who Killed Cute

If you were wondering what had happened to cute, this kid knocked it over the head, threw it in the trunk of his car, drove it out to the desert and put two in the back of its head, execution style. Then he violated the corpse.



I think this is what happens when a couple of those "Toddlers and Tiaras" parents get stuck with a boy.