Miss California, Revisited.

So now a new photo has surfaced of Miss CA, Carrie Prejean, from some lingerie ad she did at some point in her life. What most people are taking away from this is that this makes her somewhat hypocritical in terms of being a spokesmodel for "family values" or whatever. But here's the thing that jumps out at me when I see this picture:

prior to the cosmetic surgery, Ms Prejean was pretty. What the hell would make a young lady who looks like the above picture think that plastic surgery was a good idea? What the hell is wrong with the model/beauty pageant subculture that the girl in that picture feels like she needs to take drastic steps to "improve" her looks?


How could the young woman in the above photo look in the mirror and think hmm, maybe some second-rate hackery on the old face is in order. Now where can I find an unlicensed surgeon with the DT's who will work on short notice?

And who could possibly think that this:


is an improvement?

And look at the first picture again. Why would that gal need for pageant officials to pay for her to have breast implants? She has her own perfectly good bosoms. I shudder to think that she could have been so dissatisfied with her appearance that she had the real ones removed and replaced with the fakes.

What the hell did this poor girl's parents do to her?


And now, in the interest of attracting more traffic to this blog, I would like to reiterate that we have been discussing Miss California, her breasts, and topless photos.

Ok, I am really not proud of that last bit. I'm going to go sit in the corner and think about what I've done.

Jeb Bush + Some Dumb Kid

This idiot kid actually says that he thinks people can learn more from listening to Rush Limbaugh than ithey can in high school or college. And NO ONE objects! There's even a smattering of applause! And then Jeb answers the question as if it were somehow legitimate. As if this dunderhead had some sort of a point.
Then Jeb spews out a ridiculous piece of revisionist history about FDR supposedly prolonging the Great Depression, you know, like the way that penicillin prolongs syphilis. (Which, incidentally, you would have to be suffering from to believe this crap.)



WARNING: Place something soft below your jaw before watching this video. Because your jaw will drop.


UPDATE: The idiot group that runs this idiot "listening tour," the National Council of Idiots for a New, More Idiotic America, is about to be joined by Uber-idiot Sarah Palin, who had originally snubbed them, but By Golly knows a good thing when she sees one, you betcha!

Joe The Plumber

Apparently, there are some people not familiar with the principle of "ignore him and he'll go away." And some of those people work for a publication called "Christianity Today."

Since ol' Joe has proven to be such a font of wisdom when it comes to politics, someone over at C.T. figured, hey, I'll bet he's just as super-awesomely smart about theology! Let's ask Joe the Fucktard Plumber to interpret the Word of the Lord for us!

So, let's look at some excerpts from the interview, shall we?

In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?

I personally still think it’s wrong. People don’t understand the dictionary—it’s called queer. Queer means strange and unusual.

Ah, I see. And what does ignorant, mouthbreathing redneck mean?

I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing.

Yeah, some people don't understand the dictionary. Like some people don't understand that the word "friend" doesn't refer to someone who knows you wouldn't have them anywhere near your children.

Who do you see as the emerging Christian leaders?

James Dobson. I love Dobson.

Ok, do you know what the word "emerging" means? James Dobson is Seventy-Three Years Old! He just stepped down as chairman of "Focus on the Family," the organization he founded in 1977! Dobson is an emerging leader? Wow! Even for you, that's stunningly ignorant!
Why does conservatism appeal to you as a Christian? Conservatism is about the basic rights of individuals. God created us.

Um, what do those two factoids have to do with each other? Can you elucidate a bit?

As far as the government goes, the Founding Fathers based the Constitution off of Christian values. It goes hand-in-hand. As far as the Republican Party? I felt connected to it because individual freedom should not be legislated by the federal government.

Now I'm even more confused. The government should not be legislating individual freedom? I can't even tell if that makes you pro- or anti-freedom!

Do you have plans to run for public office?

Not right now. God hasn't said, "Joe, I want you to run."

Yeah, and He won't. Really. There's an old expression: If you talk to God, that's prayer. If God talks to you, that's schizophrenia.

God said, "Well, you know, listen—I set you on a path, and go to it. See what you can do."

Really? God gave you the most vague instructions anyone has ever given to anyone? And God says, "Well, you know" ? Really? God talks like W? I don't think that's God you're hearing.

I feel more important to just encourage people to get involved, one way or another. If I can inspire some leaders, that would be great. I don't know if I want to be a leader.

God Forbid!

Miss California

At first, I felt kind of bad for her. It didn't really seem fair to ambush Miss USA contestants with political questions. I mean, it seems like a safe assumption that young women who consent to being paraded around and judged like livestock at a county fair probably don't have a lot of clear, well-thought-out opinions on the issues of the day.

And it seemed like she didn't necessarily have a problem with same-sex marriage, just felt like it wasn't her cup of tea, what with her enjoying winkies and all.

"I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage," she said at the pageant.

See, so that seems like something a reasonable person might say, although I would think that "opposite marriage" would probably be divorce, but i don't want to nitpick.

"And you know what? I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that's how I was raised."

So at this point, I'm thinking, Ok, everyone's entitled to their opinion, no big deal, I didn't really think that there was any reason to vilify the little airhead.

And I thought it really wasn't her fault that the right wing chose her as a sort of cause celebre.

Then I read this:

Miss California USA Carrie Prejean announced Thursday she will star in an anti-gay marriage ad sponsored by the controversial National Organization for Marriage.

Oh, it's on now, bitch!

Sorry, channeling Perez Hilton for a second there!

Oh, and this:

Prejean later said she thought she had lost the contest because of her stance.

Really? Because i was thinking maybe you lost because it's hard to win a beauty contest looking like this:

Neither Real, Nor Spectacular

"I was attacked for giving my own opinion on stage at a Miss USA contest, and I'm going to do whatever it takes, Matt, to protect marriage," Prejean, 21, told NBC "Today" show host Matt Lauer.

"The National Organization for Marriage basically just respects, um, you know, marriages and people who support it," she said. "That's what I'm here to do today, protect traditional marriage."

Really? Is that what they do? Just respect Marriage? Have you ever heard of Orson Scott Card? No? Well, most people haven't, he's evidently a fairly popular science fiction writer. There's no reason you should really be all that familiar with him, except that he sits on the board of the National Organization for Marriage. Why is that important? Because he says things like this:

Laws against homosexual behavior should remain on the books…to be used when necessary to send a clear message that those who flagrantly violate society's regulation of sexual behavior cannot be permitted to remain as acceptable, equal citizens.

And this:

How long before married people answer the dictators thus: Regardless of law, marriage has only one definition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support marriage, and help me raise my children in a society where they will expect to marry in their turn.

Kinda scary, no? And also kinda ironic, since Mr. Card happens to be, wait for it, a Mormon!

Biological imperatives trump laws. American government cannot fight against marriage and hope to endure. If the Constitution is defined in such a way as to destroy the privileged position of marriage, it is that insane Constitution, not marriage, that will die.

Hey, Card! You're really going with the "biological imperative" thing? Cuz, if you're a male, your biological imperative is to mate with as many females as possible to ensure the continuation of your blood line and the survival of the species. You know, like a Mormon. One male - one female lifelong mating pairs are rarely seen in nature (wolves come to mind)
The only reason humans are able to make marriages work is that we are able to overcome our biological imperatives, so let's not pretend that there is some scientific basis to your hatred of the gay people.

But I digress.

Where were we? Oh yeah, Miss California. Hey Miss California, Shut the hell up. No one cares what a second-rate beauty queen/cosmetic surgery demo model has to say about anything of any importance, OK? Do us all a favor and stick to cutting ribbons at Orange County strip malls, and fending off Howard Stern.

Michele Bachmann (Yes, Again!)

She's baaaaaack!

Because she can't go more than a few days without saying something head-hurtingly stupid, Rep. Michelle Bachman (R-Loonesota) has this to say about swine flu:

I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under Democrat President Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it is an interesting coincidence.”

Really? You really think that's interesting? Come on, Bachman! You used to put some thought into your loony conspiracy theories. When you talked about FEMA building concentration camps in the desert, I at least felt like you were putting some effort into it. Now it feels like you're not even trying anymore. Where's the creativity?

Now, if you want something interesting, here's a little-known historical fact (by which I mean everyone but Michele Bachmann knows this) - The swine flu outbreak of the 1970's was in 1976. Jimmy Carter was elected in 1976, which means he took office in 1977. So there is still a touch of the me'lange of crazy and stupid that only Ms. Bachmann can provide. Kudos to you, Ms. Bachmann, and congratulations, voters of Minnesota's 6th district!



I wish I could take credit for this picture! I found it at:www.flickr.com/
photos/
cursedthing/
296451543/